Trauma & chronic stress

Too much, too soon, too sudden, too long.

Trauma and chronic stress affect far more people than we often realize. They can arise after overwhelming experiences, but also through long-term pressure and a lack of recovery over time.

Whether there was one clear event or a slow build-up of stress, the impact is often similar: your nervous system gets stuck in survival mode. This can show up as chronic tension, anxiety, shutdown, fatigue, numbness, or difficulty feeling present in your body.

Trauma isn’t only about “major events.” And chronic stress is more than “being busy.” It’s about what your body has been carrying. A protective response that never got to complete. Boundaries that keep being crossed. A nervous system that no longer knows how to settle.

Talking about what happened can help, but often only up to a point. Because trauma and chronic stress don’t live in your story. They live in your nervous system: in the tension you carry, in patterns that keep repeating.

Your nervous system can learn to soften and relax again. To feel safe instead of freezing or panicking. To be present instead of simply surviving.

That is what Somatic Experiencing® is about: helping the body process through the nervous system, instead of fighting against it. Step by step, you create more calm, more capacity (more “bandwidth”), and more joy.

Would you like to work on this? Book a free discovery call.

WHAT ABOUT Trauma & chroniC stress?

Trauma is not what happened to you. Trauma is what stayed stuck in your body.

Many people associate trauma with Trauma with a capital T: severe accidents, war, natural disasters, rape or sexual abuse, violent attacks, emotional abuse, neglect. But more “everyday” experiences can also lead to long-term symptoms. For example an invasive medical procedure, a difficult birth, ongoing conflict, falling down the stairs, losing a loved one, losing your job, or other sudden major changes in your life.

You don’t have to have lived through war or survived an accident. Seemingly “smaller” experiences can leave deep imprints in your nervous system. For your nervous system, what matters most is: Was I able to respond? Could I protect myself? Was there support?

And then there is chronic stress.

Chronic stress doesn’t arise from one single event, but from ongoing pressure. Too much work. Too little rest. Repeatedly crossing your own limits. Never truly relaxing. Years of “just a little too much”. Over time, your nervous system becomes exhausted and dysregulated, just like with trauma. Your body stays in alarm mode, even when there is no immediate danger. The symptoms are surprisingly similar.

How trauma and chronic stress show up:

Whether it comes from a major traumatic event or from long-term overload, your body responds in largely the same way. You may recognize:

Freezing or “checking out” in stressful moments
Always being alert, unable to relax
Getting overwhelmed by emotions quickly, or feeling nothing at all
Difficulty setting boundaries or saying no
Nightmares, flashbacks, or intrusive thoughts (in trauma)
Chronic tension, pain, or fatigue without a clear cause
Shame or guilt that won’t go away
Feeling disconnected from your body (cut off from yourself, “living in your head”)
Difficulty with intimacy or touch, sexual symptoms
Feeling empty, depleted, lacking pleasure, lack of enjoyment or feeling of joy.

Why does it stay stuck?

With trauma: when you are in danger, your nervous system shifts into survival mode. It wants to opt for fighting against it or fleeing from it (the fight or flight responses). If those are impossible, a freeze response occurs. And if a response cannot be completed, for example because you couldn’t escape, or because no one helped you settle afterwards, the survival energy generated during the event stays trapped in your body. This can also happen with fawning: a fourth survival strategy in which you abandon yourself to reassure others or avoid conflict.

With chronic stress: your body keeps sending out alarm signals because the pressure never stops. No rest. No recovery. Your nervous system becomes exhausted, but can no longer exit alarm mode. Even when you go on vacation, your body may still feel tense, stuck in task mode, stuck in to-do lists.

The result is often the same:

You live as if the danger is still there. Your nervous system keeps sounding the alarm, even when you rationally know you are safe. And no amount of talking or thinking your way through it can change that, because trauma and stress go deeper than language.

That is not your fault. It doesn’t mean you are permanently “damaged.” It means your system got stuck in a protective mechanism that once made sense, but no longer helps.

The good news? Your nervous system can learn to relax again. To create new pathways in your body. Step by step, in your own time. For both trauma and chronic stress, a similar approach works, based on one foundation: regulating your nervous system.

SOMATIC EXPERIENCING® – Coming home to the body

Somatic Experiencing® (SE) is a world-renowned method for healing trauma, PTSD and chronic stress, developed by psychologist Peter Levine. It works directly with your nervous system, not by only talking about what happened, but by working with what is happening in your body.

I use SE to help you (re)learn the language of your body, step by step. Instead of going through all the details of events from your head, we explore how unprocessed pieces show up in your body.

How we work

Based on what you have been through, we explore bodily sensations, experiences, images, and movements. We use SE techniques that help your system gradually release held stress and activation, so we work with the root of trauma and stress symptoms, not just the surface.

Reconnecting with your body often takes time. As a result of trauma or long-term stress, you have probably worked hard (consciously or unconsciously) to not feel too much in your body. That’s why we take our time and actively look for experiences of safety in your body, here and now.

We move at the pace that works for your nervous system. Often that means we go slowly. That is exactly the point: Somatic Experiencing is about slowing down and approaching trauma gently, so you can stay present with what your body is experiencing.

We work with techniques such as pendulation: gently moving back and forth between what feels difficult and what feels safe. Never staying too long in the hard place. Always returning to regulation.

We work with titration: small pieces at a time. No overwhelm. No “talking through it” and pushing on. We respect your pace and go only as far as your nervous system can handle.

Safety first – and everything at your pace

SE works at the level where trauma and stress live: your autonomic nervous system. Not in your story, not in your thoughts, but in the deepest layer of your system that determines whether you feel safe or not.

We follow your body, not a protocol. Some people need months to land; others can go deeper sooner. Both are completely okay.

You don’t have to share the details of your story if you don’t want to. SE works with what is happening in your body now, not with reliving events. And with chronic stress, you often don’t even have a clear “story” at all. We work with how your nervous system responds in the present.

Before we look at anything difficult, we build safety and grounding first. What feels stable in your body? What can you return to? We always begin with resourcing: strengthening what is already working, so your nervous system knows there is a safety net.

Only when there is enough regulation do we gently approach what is difficult. And even then, we keep pendulating, moving between challenge and safety, so you don’t get overwhelmed.

Hands-on bodywork

Sometimes hands-on bodywork is the best entry point for trauma healing. For example, when you are so in your head that it feels almost impossible to sense anything in your body. Or when you have developed an aversion to, or fear of, touch due to trauma, or when traumatic experiences took place in the pelvic area.

That is why working on the treatment table can be a valuable addition. We only do this when you feel ready. Touch (always with consent) then becomes central in reconnecting with your body, and in exploring and releasing trauma-held patterns. At all times, we work at your pace, and only with touch that feels like a full-body yes.

What i can help you with

My specialization lies at the intersection of trauma, chronic stress, the pelvis and sexuality.
Here are some examples of the challenges I support clients with.

chroniC stress & burn-out

Too much for too long. Too little deep rest. Your nervous system becomes exhausted but can no longer relax. You feel empty, numb, or constantly tense, often even in your muscles. Intimacy starts to fade into the background. SE helps your nervous system learn to regulate again.

Boundaries (or the lack of 'em)

When facing trauma or chronic stress, setting boundaries can feel nearly impossible. You might say yes when you mean no, feel nervous about asserting your needs, or only notice a boundary was crossed once you’re exhausted, resentful or overwhelmed. I help you learn to sense where your limits really are, to listen to your body’s yes and no, and to express your boundaries with growing confidence.

Dissociation & OVERWHELM

“Checking out” as soon as things get difficult, frequently disconnecting, not being present in your body. Feeling too much too fast, or completely collapsing and shutting down. Life is hard to to enjoy from this place. It’s important to learn how to gently come back into your body, at your pace. SE teaches your nervous system how to move between activation and relaxation again, without getting stuck in extremes.

Sexual trauma

Body-based healing after unwanted sexual experiences, intimate boundary violations, or abuse. You may downplay what happened to you because others have “had it worse,” but even experiences that seem small to some can leave deep imprints in your nervous system, body, and sexuality. SE is particularly suited for sexual trauma because we work gently with what shows up in your body. You don’t need to share details if you don’t want to.

Trauma in the pelvic area

Surgery, a difficult birth, or invasive procedures in the pelvic area can create long-lasting tension in your pelvis and nervous system. You may have had to “just cooperate,” while your body wanted nothing more than to fight or flee. And sometimes, trauma that doesn’t have anything to do with your physical pelvis, causes chronic tension in your pelvis anyway.

Chronic pain and unexplained complaints

Unexplained pain, chronic tension, fatigue, digestive issues. Often signs that your nervous system is stuck in alarm mode. SE can help you address the source, not just the symptoms.

Do you recognize yourself? Schedule a free discovery call

Is this for you?

This work is for you if:

You notice that trauma or PTSD has left you “stuck” with chronic tension, pelvic symptoms, or intimacy difficulties
You have been through a traumatic experience and notice that talking alone isn’t enough
You have (had) chronic stress or burnout and feel disconnected from your body, but now want to do things differently
You have experienced sexual or medical trauma and worry about the impact on intimacy and your pelvic area
You struggle with boundaries or sensing your body (in daily life and in intimacy)
You are highly sensitive and easily overwhelmed
You recognize dissociative patterns (often “away,” spacey, not truly present)
You want to learn to regulate your nervous system instead of fighting it

You don’t need to be able to tell your story perfectly. You don’t need to know whether it was “bad enough.” If your body is showing signs that something is stuck, that is reason enough to seek support.

Even if you’ve already had therapy

Many people come to me after previous therapy or coaching didn’t bring the (full) results they were hoping for. Talking can be an important first step, but sometimes “something” remains that words can’t reach.

SE and body-based work can be a very valuable next step. It works on a different level: not just through your story, but through your nervous system. For people who experience cognitive therapy as too abstract, or who notice that insight alone isn’t enough, this can be the missing puzzle piece.

Combining SE with other forms of therapy is often possible as well. We’ll discuss this during intake.

Trauma AND stress AFFECT MORE THAN YOU THINK

Trauma and chronic stress don’t exist in isolation.
They affect your whole system, including areas you might not expect.

Trauma, stress & your pelvis

A lot of trauma and stress gets stored in the pelvis. Safety, grounding, sexuality, identity, all of this is connected to the pelvic area. Pelvic floor tension, pain during sex, or numbness can be signals that your pelvis has shut down for protection.

Chronic stress can also show up as pelvic symptoms: too much tension, too little relaxation. Your pelvis becomes literally “locked up.”

That is why, when relevant, I combine the work around trauma and chronic stress with pelvic care. Not because your pelvis is “broken,” but because it can be a gateway to deeper patterns.

Trauma, stress & intimacy

Sexuality is vulnerable. After trauma, it can feel like you can’t truly be present during sex, or like your body is just “cooperating” while you are “not really there”. That is dissociation: a survival mechanism.

With chronic stress, you often lose connection to desire, your body, your longings. Too tired. Too empty. Too tense.

Healing means: feeling safe in your body again, also in intimacy. Being able to feel and stay present. Being able to experience and allow pleasure. That is absolutely possible, but it may requires guidance that understands trauma, stress, and sexuality.

Holistic healing

I believe in healing your entire system: your nervous system, your pelvis, your sexuality, your relationship with yourself.

That means that sometimes we look broadly. Not only at “what happened,” but also at “how are you living now,” “what do you want to feel,” and “how do you move towards that?”

When appropriate, energetic work can be part of the process. For example soul retrieval: a shamanic practice that some people experience as deeply supportive when they feel fragmented or “not the same” after trauma. I approach this in a grounded, down-to-earth way and integrate it with somatic work, because ultimately, life is lived here, in the body.

Curious what I can do for you?

Request your free discovery call here.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need to share the details of what happened?

No. We work with what is happening in your body right now, not by reliving events. You can share your story if you want to, but it’s not necessary. Sometimes people don’t even know exactly what happened, and that doesn’t matter. Your body remembers, just in a different way, and that’s what we work with. With chronic stress, there may not be a clear “story” at all.

Does this also work for burnout and stress without an “official” trauma?

Absolutely. Chronic stress can dysregulate your nervous system just as much as trauma. The symptoms are often surprisingly similar, and so is the approach. You don’t need to have lived a “big T trauma” or specific traumatic events to benefit from this work. If your system is stuck -whatever the cause- SE can likely help.

Will this retraumatize me?

No. Quite the opposite. SE is designed to prevent retraumatization. We work titrated (small steps), pendulated (moving gently back and forth between what feels difficult and what feels safe), and always within your window of tolerance. If it becomes too much, we return to grounding and safety. No forcing, no overwhelm.

How long before I notice a difference?

This varies greatly per person and situation. Some people feel significant shifts after 6-8 sessions, others need 20+ sessions. Complex trauma often takes more time than chronic stress, but even that is just an average. We regularly evaluate together how things are going and what you need.

Can I work with you if I’m currently in a crisis?

No. I work with people who are relatively stable and feel stable. If you are in an acute crisis, this work is not suitable. You would first need stabilization and crisis intervention.

SE requires a certain level of regulation capacity. If your system is completely overwhelmed, we must first work on safety and stability before we can process trauma. In that case, I will gladly refer you to appropriate acute care.

Can this work be done online?

Yes, it can. Online SE can be very effective. We will work step by step towards being more present with your body and the experiences going on inside, and this doesn’t require we meet physically face to face. However, if it is very difficult for you to stay present in your body, I may recommend in-person sessions as well, since working with touch can sometimes be a more effective entry point.

Client experiences

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“I reached out to Elisabeth because I had spent years being too much in my head. I got strongly convinced that body-based work was the key to unlocking my blocks. I felt very much at ease during the sessions, thanks to the warmth and understanding Elisabeth showed for my challenges.

Through our work and the exercises, I became more connected to my body and learned simply to feel, rather than overthink everything. We explored my traumas and expressed the grief through my body. The sessions helped me experience less stress, and the exercises give me a way out when my mind starts to overflow. The breathing work, pendulation, and expressing emotions through my body provide a daily tool whenever I start overthinking.”

Rogier, 46, Netherlands

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“Elisabeth is incredible at what she does. She’s combined the most powerful trainings to provide a holistic approach to sexual and mental health. She has incredible instincts that allows her to choose the perfect intervention for me time and time again. I’ve had more breakthroughs in a few months with her than previous years of therapy combined.”

Snow, Melbourne, Australia

“I have had multiple sessions with Elisabeth through Zoom and have benefited greatly as a result. For me, the most effective guidance feels effortless and her ability to seamlessly navigate through vulnerable areas allowed me to be open while feeling completely secure. Open, safe, comfortable and warm are the predominant feelings I experienced throughout and after each session.”

Mark K., 38, Ireland

TRAUMA & CHRONIC STRESS